Biology

Biology.

All of us are born to be "socialite".
Cell multiply, reproduce, form much bigger creature, sex, communicate, evolve.
Moon are bind by planet, planet are bind by star. A star are bind by galaxy.
Gravity. Attraction. Love.


No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much you believe that you can live alone; you just... can't. It is our fitrah. It is the law of the universe.

We need someone to share things. Experiences. Thoughts. Touch. Feel.

We need someone to set ourself straight. We need someone as point of purpose. We need someone as a reason why we do things.

You can't leaves a mark in the world without impacting someone. That is just sad; as if you are not even exist.

No cell is left alone. The existence is void if people don't know you "exist".

Parents, partner, friends, students, children, junior, people who will read and experience you will get effected by what you portray.

They will respect you when you being honest. Stand up for truth. Being you, not fake.
The extraordinary people that people look up to are the one who are the most truthful.
Why? Being true to yourself is the most hardest things to do in life.

How steadfast are you to stand by for your decision out of "fear"?


Fear of being left alone?
Fear of being rejected?
Fear of surviving?


How often people justify their "truth" from their "fear"?

How often people can bend their "fear" to aid their "truth"?

Confronting the fear is a "risk".


How often you take "risk"?
The risk of being rejected, but you get on with it because you're confident and willing to work hard to see the risk is well taken.


Being truthful is an attitude. To prove that attitude is by taking a risk; embracing the fear. Action upon it.
To prove that you are right.
Sooner or later that action you take to prove something will become second nature.

People will love or hate you by your actions. By showing the "truth", both good or bad, will resonate differently to different people. A risk you have to acknowledge.


But first, inquire and confront the fear that is deep within you.
Untangle yourself. Free yourself from created dogma. Assumptions. Filter the untrue.


But then:
What is my calling?


Let's put all the cards on the table:

1. I am 'investigative' plus 'artistic' plus 'enterprising'. (Based on Holland Codes)

2. I learnt now that I like things that designed to be 'simplified' -- being a sloth as I am (and Malaysian; well human race basically) I like when things are not wasting my time and in subtlety feed my carnal desire. A revelation comes to mind that when you create, design or innovate; it is basically we finding a way to feed our own laziness. Or to simply expand that, feed in the seven original sins.

3. I need to social when I do things. I love bouncing ideas and share emotions. I have to break the mold that I'm in right now -- an introvert.

4. I pushed a lot of things that hold me back and I decline to confront them head on.

5. 'Simplify'. Life is complex enough for me to be messed up in my head and my thinking. I can make others life much easier as well when I be on my way not being a hindrance to their daily life.

6. I am easily distracted by 'things'. I can safely assume I am a distraction to others as well. Being all negative, being whiny, doing things that we know will not make a difference is indeed a distraction.

7. Zen. Serenity. What it all means? Am I a water going with the flow, follow whatever shape that contain me or am I a current that shape things whenever I flow?

8. Do I succumb doing and involve with things because of their 'popularity'? Why do I travel? Why I love adventure? If I do went travel, having an adventure; what 'message' do I portray?

9. If I do die in the future, what message will people say I left of?

I am still just in the realization phase. The idea is there, but we all know the actions that I have to take will cement the attitude.


The very first bond I have to fix is with my mom. My father.
I need their blessing to push forward.


8 October 2013 -- poured my heart to mom. I shared with her my concern, purpose, actions that I took before and actions that I will take.

I cried in front of her.

I feel relieved. The load is gone. 

Renewed purpose.