Thank You.

When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal. ~Author Unknown

Thank you for being my first love, heartbreak, confusion and so on. I've never been this serious before, and it sure is hell trying to forget/get over you.

Don't worry. I'm a person who just can't speak ill to a person that I has nice memory on. Thank you for teaching me what's love is. What sacrificing is. How to appreciate. And what serious business this is.

I just hope that this will be the end of everything, misery, lost of purpose, disillusioned and negative kind of feeling.

Please God, bring me strength to finish my last term of this degree of mine. Lately it seems like I've been rob off all my purposes and things that I hold dear, and I really do hope that things like this are making me stronger.

I want to be a man, man of cause. I do know what my long-term goal is. o God please don't let this matter distract me in achieving my goal.

Please God, do protect me from my inner-self, that are poised to mask the sadness inside by laughing and happily traveling like I didn't have a care in the world, try to forget that he has responsibilities and matter that must be attend to. I know I'm not a lazy bunch. But I do surprised when this little "demotivated" kind of scenario really do affect my life so major that I feel so lost and demeanor; it feels like nothing matters anymore.

Constantly I did argue with my self, "What the hell is wrong with me?"

"This is not the end of the world, get over it." 

"You can find someone more beautiful and talented than her. Bunga bkn sekuntum :)"

"Why waste time on others that have so much 'baggage' in the first place? Why waste time on someone who are not willing to waste time on you?"

"You've been taken for granted for so long, why did you struggle being the good guy? What? You think you are some kind of messiah?"
"She's been playing you, using you all over. Get real."
"She's been lying to you all this time. You know that in your heart but the power of denial is strong within you. Heh. You are pathetic." 

"Bah. You're hopeless. Sooner or later you will realize that you are fighting for a lost cause."

Enough said. This will me my last post regarding this hopeless love of mine. Maybe a bit too honest, but heck, I'm glad that I've never done "mistakes" that God forbid yet.

Sad, yes. Relief, maybe. Guilt, no.

Lonely? Again.

Thank you for everything.

p/s: "But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." 

Been waiting for a long time than someone just came in and snatch all the glory; cutting up queue as if it was nothing. I don't know whether I should be mad or just letting it go for the sake of your happiness. I just gone and get busy with all my stuff for just two frakking month, and now you accusing me of not trying hard enough? Heh. It's your lost then.