4 month left~ -_-

Yeah. Got another 4 month left. Gotta brace myself for the worst, especially from my inner conscious of denying reality that I'm still a student; waiting to unleash myself into the "real" world; a world of debt, stress and "politics"... -___-

Kinda sad, actually. Afraid, maybe. Anxious, perhaps.

For some reason, I don't like that "world". Some may say you can achieve your dreams as you grad, cuz with a steady paycheck, comes money - luxury - car - wife(s) - so on and on and on...

Will I do the same things every day with the same people who thought the same thoughts every living day till I die eventually?

Will I poise to say that I'm a proud "designer" (if I choose to be one maybe) and make it my life, from the alpha and omega; all books, article, discussion I involve will be all inside the very circle I make a job from? Xjadi boring ke?

Will my life will get so busy, that I never be able to take a time to think about all the spirituality, or some may say "mind-management" or some just say "rambling like an old crook" kinda thing; will I have the time? (For me and my family that is...)

Must I act by the thinking that when I turn into an adult, I have to resigned myself to acting the way adults were supposed to act; talking like successful people were supposed to talk; am I being original anymore or just being artificial?

Would that make me a hardened skeptic? Will I becoming someone selfish; didn't care about others demise just for the sake of "protecting" myself from being "hurt"?

Sometimes the thought of probability makes me anxious... Not because of others, but the fear that someday I can get astray do worries me.

Please God. Don't let me be astray. Do guide me on the correct path, and if somehow I do get astray, please save me from the limbo of my own mind.

Amen.