Yeah.

Hypocrisy.

Too big a word that has such meaning that people can't never comprehend.
How could they? They've been living in it from the very start and unfortunately, some ignored it and been living in a lie ever since. Some may rationalized over it to keep them sane. ACT as if everything is OK and well. Even-though opportunity presents itself to counter the problem but some are too afraid to care.

I don't know about you, but to me when something is amiss and unjust, it just doesn't feel well.
I couldn't sleep it off and pretend it never happen on the next morning.
It just pisses me that lying to people is bad enough, but lying to myself is even worse.

Yeah. You can see me running from something when I distancing myself from you.
I can't pretend to be happy when I'm not. I'm not a literal hypocrite and really sucks in acting.
I just can't say it straight in the eye as I know people will know that I'm sucks at bullshitting.
I perform bad and neglect my "duties" cuz' I know it is not what I'm craving for.
I will not talk to you because "opportunity" doesn't present itself to the betterment of it; hope that some "miracle" present itself, enlighten us to be aware of this unjust. I rather have some action, struggling to end it as fast as I could, rather be it waiting for the miracle to happen and just leave it be.

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.
Usually I spoke it off to the unjust and call for a solution, but people; been living in hypocrisy as they are, say that I'm "nagging", "whining" and "doesn't appreciate what is given to you."
Hell. I just need to loan your ear in questioning things out but then the same thing happen over and over again...

I don't want a story such as:


"Islam is a religion spread by hatred and war!" says the Christian sniper as the .308 from his rifle sails into the head of a young Muslim militant.


"Accept Allah and follow the Quran and you will go to Heaven" says the Imam as he rapes a small boy. 

"The Lord is a big part of my life." Says the man as he drinks a beer, smokes a cigarette, and admires his cross tattoo.

"Oh yeah, we go to church every Sunday." says his girlfriend who just had protected, pre-marital sex with him.

What a big joke. Aren't we?

Lest they shunned me like I'm a leper, not suited to the community and incompatible for understanding.
They act nice in front, but the opposite behind.

I trust all of them, but I don't trust the "devil" inside them.
I do need an exorcist to bedevil one by one, talk things over to those who cared enough to "listen". No, not pretending to listen, but an honest listen.

And deep inside I do know that I am alone.
Some people did ask me, "You can't QUESTION everything, best to be ignored and you did know that ignorance is bliss?"
No, it is not a "bliss" for me.
As I know that when I tell and know the truth, it will leave a soothed comfort in my heart and I WILL forget it the next day. Not living in a guilt.
True happiness.
Sincere laugh.

I do need a solitary cave so that I can meditate; too cool it off and call it "day". I do pray to talk to God. Meditate to listen for him. Maybe the view from the above is better off from the ground.

p/s: I do QUESTION everything. Heck. I love it. Gonna try living by this quote,

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. - Og Mandino