haa...?

"The night is darkest just before the dawn. I promise you - the dawn is coming." - Harvey Dent aka Two-face from The Dark Knight.

Sometimes I do wonder... I'm trying not to make problems, make people happy, always trying to be funny and above all... be different.

But the result is people become more irate and says that I've become incorrigible. ME??

INCORRIGIBLE??

To lazy to tell what makes them say this, but I'm struggling to make ends meet... forcing myself to satisfy others...

...and I'm at the crossroad in choosing which promiscuous path I might choose.

I gave up my "gamer" life, sacrificing myself for business aka job.

Realizing that to succeed it takes perseverance and sacrifice... but still I think it will not suffice.

I need something to look upon into, random things I might add, that will stimulate my sorry mind that has become too subdue from doing anything...

Someone says that I'm dead boring... can't agree more. Hahaha.

(Broke!! Nk gerak having fun pun xleh!! Mmg la boring!! ARGHHHH!!!)

I don't have a rich parents, rich friends that can always "belanja" me, I have to survive on my own. I even considered that I want to extend my studies to support my studies and business... I'm sick in relying to other people that say, "Support2!!" but in reality hypocrite and sacrilege of that word disgust me. Above all, I'm not blaming others because we got our own selfish path to take care about.

Sometimes I felt that I'm unfortunate, but looking at others I'm grateful that I felt this way.

"Somethings that doesn't kill you will not make you stronger."

...people says that I'm the one making this predicament, but things happen for a reason right?

A bliss of happiness and sadness will make your day dramatic, like it or not - it makes your life worthwhile. I want to have fun like normal young adult, but I can't. I got mouth(s) to feed. Got a debt to settle and still the pressure is killing me that sometimes I do wonder what will happen if I just run away...

But I don't want to run away. I don't want to be a coward. I have to embrace it nonetheless.

p/s: I'll do it alone if I have to. Self-pity is useless now. Ape nk jadi jadi lah.