huh~

Just realizing that I've been fighting for the lost cause... for one whole freaking year.

I don't want to bad-mouth people and blaming them as in I know we all are part of the bigger circle, all of us are there to blame...

I'm trying to make peace with it and although before most of my time I act as if everything is OK and fine, the pain and guilt kept creeping and eating my heart and IT SHOWS IN MY FACE... THAT I'M NOT HAPPY.

So, to those who may concern, I'm through with it. I'm gonna fight for what I love for and for what my passion is.

Also realizing that I'm not gonna fight someone elses battle and be used then thrown away when I mess up.

...and the hard reality is, for so long I've been trying to be a good boy and listen do what they say... Its been eating me inside up, that I know the word like, "Kita kena bwat benda kita xsuka baru dpt benda kita suka." but still, I don't like it.

One year of nothing just shows me that.

When I ask politely to struggle along to repair and fix the condition, they don't wanna. So I've been alone. Not a word of gratitude shown and when shit happen, the blame is all on me.

They doesn't remember there was a time when someone call me a beggar, bangsat, penipu, etc.

That's what I get for being kind. Wanted to be a martyr la kononnya...

Huh~ That's it.

I'm through with this.

I'm gonna live my life my own way. Not being selfish but trying to live my life to a be more meaningful, at least for my own end. Don't like to be someone else chess pieces and get manipulated away as in I was a thrash.

I'm worth more than this.

Wanted to move on into something new or back into my old passion.

...and also trying hard not to be a belligerent and archaic, wry person.

Heh.

Enough with this shit.

Btw, AVATAR IS A BLAST!!! (with Suhadlie just so you know... bidan terjun ahaks!!)

The experience watching Avatar is the same like I was playing Final Fantasy before, except the Japanese part. Heh.

Science fiction+Pocahontas-like story = Night Elf WarCraft 3 character.

LoL.

Princess and the Frog is classic, yet it breaks from the stereotype of classic 2D animation and for me a bliss of it is kinda refreshing and no wonder it gets high rating from the critiques.

p/s: 2010 = A new revelation, an epiphany arrive. Eager what comes next. (Problems won't lose away, they just kept getting better and better. Embrace it folks.)

OST of the Day: Mew - 156