Huhu~

Happy Birthday Mom!! Although we always quarrel; sometimes I raise my voice up a lil' bit, spoke nasty "direct" words, hiding things that... you know, things-parent-don't-like-to-here BUT deep in my heart you know I always love you.

But sometimes I show my love in the meanest of way. Sorry.

And... from the very depth of my heart, I truly wish that you and father can get back together. I've prayed on and on that maybe someday, in the not so distant future, our family can get back together and it is to me a total happiness if somehow you and dad can cast aside all the hate and sour things that has been going for the past 8 years.

I still remember back then when you're deep in a sullen depression. Of course back then you're in a state of deniability, remorse about everything and I still remember the days you always scream throughout the night having nightmares, not believing that 20 years of marriage gone down the drain.

Thank God those days are over but still, I always adore you for being strong and whatever mischief and rebellious me and my sister has been you always stay by our side - accepting for what we are and patiently advising and guiding us for what is the meaning to be "human".

"Ayun, remember that God will not place a burden on a man's shoulders knowing that he cannot carry it. Always believe that whatever predicament, obstacles and bad people that you come across - well, things happen for a reason. If you believe all those things is a blessing in disguise, it is."

Things are not perfect in life and yeah, I've learned about it so close at heart that even the holiest, loveliest, inner sanctum that we call home are so fragile and the greatest hard lesson that I shall not ever forget - don't you ever take your family for granted.

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family.  Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.  ~Paul Pearshall

Do know that I've come to terms that my family are not wealthy and "happy" as others. Even though we don't have the luxury on having holiday overseas, and sometimes by not having a "proper" raya - all is not lost.

It's just that happiness and serenity need to be gain. Yeah there will be a minor setback and obstacle here and there but, yes, we will be there.

What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment.  And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new.  Right now.  ~Author Unknown

You will always be my hero and my inspiration. Yes, sometimes I did wish things should have been better between here and there if you did this and that, but heck, that's life.

Nobody's perfect. Especially your loved ones.

And yeah, Merry Christmas to all of you and let us send our prayer and Al-Fatihah for those who died in the 2004 Tsunami disaster.

Cheers.

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