Thursday, September 30

The Meadow.

Damn this song make me happy inside... ^_^



I don't ask why, I just fall into the meadow
I close my eyes , and I wait to die
Yes, I am a liar
Yes, I am a sinner
Please forgive my broken soul
But I've got nowhere else to go
They made this world so hard
If I had somewhere else to go


I could be a star like you
Special like you
A star like you
Special like you


And all those picture frames surround you
I saw you in France
All those busters hang around you
I asked you to dance
I can't take you home tonight
No, I can't be your man
I know why you here tonight
You in a fight with your man



Nostalgic.

But then comes around this movie - and I freaking love this dance xD



Madd Chadd. The very first "human" terminator LOL.



The story is kinda "ok" but thanks to beautiful choreograph it is to me WORTH watching.
(Wanto see it in 3D anyway... T_T)

Duit.

“No man can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself.” 
- James Russell Lowell.

Sincere eh? Such a word and feat is hard to get by this days; especially when things that surrounded us; one that is bestowed to us not by our choices but one says IS compulsory - aka "work", "assignments", "studies" (with added student debt and interest) and "duties" (one that you do not choose for yourself)... but I do wonder, since when did I made this "work" of mine been such a bother? Or should we say "burden"? Robert Kiyosaki terms - ratrace.

Why is it my current perspective right now differ to the one I had before 2 years ago? Or to be exact, 5 years ago? Back then, I always had a fire in me that goes without saying - doing things happily - no whining, excuses whatsoever and even-though things are rough I do not complain. Being as positive as I may be, I just said to myself back then, "Lantak la org laen nk ckp apa, janji aku happy bwat keja aku."

But things change drastically since then. I've been asking a lot about WHY is it that I've done things that I've done; and see the people - the senior and friends that have go through things that I have to go through; does scare me. I don't know whether the "education" that I had give me the "intelligence" that I need; surviving in a jungle - where the strongest had to consume the weak to survive - moral hazard, profit motive and all the things that someone says to keep being "competitive" - deep in my heart I know that I'm not dealing with democracy anymore.

People are not doing things that comes from their own passionate feeling. Most of them doing it because "life" make them do so; believing that they do not have much choice in life - just get on and be done with it. Most pursue respect, reputation and above all, fame. Sincerity has gone down the drain; and sometimes they do fools people by telling and act sincere, but by the time shit happens, they're saving their own skin.

Somehow, I did notice the system really did broken. Some say that capitalism - free market, people can build wealth and buy things they craving for with heart content - are turning loose and the influx of advertisement and catchy new gadget, cars, house do turn people away from the bigger picture. They fall into debts, interest, monthly installment and many more accounting terms I can't understand that seems to me are trapping people with things they don't really need.



They're working end to ends meet, getting a salary that are not worth for them anyway in the first place, and then laundered it away in things that they do not need.

"Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns." - a warning from Jimmy Carter.

Hell, it does sicken me when people around me talks about you have to go through this and that, to get this car and that house; just so that you can have a place in the society. Yeah, it does make life easier, but all broken system do perform well at first (example: Nazism, Communism), and when it collapses, and it did nearly collapses in 2008; saved by bail-out and resulting in each and every US citizen share at least $40k+ worth of debt; it's just a matter of time before it really collapses - and then drag the world in its blight.

Some may say I might have speak out in frustration, a bit vengeful that I failed in following the very same system that has giving us the highest form of living standard. But the very thought of it and somehow deep in my gut I know this just can't be right. (the very thought of indulging in interest money really doesn't suit me... religion issues btw.) Why is it the poor are getting poorer and the richer are getting richer? Why is it the numbers of bankrupt people rising throughout the year (mostly because of credit cards anyway. (Mostly cuz of 300% interest piling up O_o) and even-though people can get by to by, things are not improving for the better.

Maybe all of this things that happening can stay true if it stays laissez-faire, by people or government whether they choose to follow or digress with it; but the message remains clear: it is not perfect and the symptoms are already rotting away our value as a human being and by letting it roam free, we may be someday end up like the one pictured in the movie Wall-e; Earth, depicted as rock with a lot of thrash and human just fly away forgetting what mistakes they had cause...

There's still hope... is there?

Agree with what Gekko said, "It's just a game... Money are not important. It's just a tool."

p/s: This post is entirely inspired by Michael Moore's Capitalism: A Love Story + mix up with my personal vendetta with the notion that "Happiness can be bought by money." Been brought up with that notion been repeated over and over again really do sicken me... -_-

But I do support Steve Jobs vision - make business to innovate, not monetize. O_o

Tuesday, September 28


p/s: Another writer's block? Shit.

I really do need a good hug... T_T

Monday, September 20

Carbon's Anniversary.



"Who the hell made you the boss? Any shithead who had ever walked could take this ship and do a much finer job."

"Not like you hoped, but change will surely come, and be awful for most, but really good for some."

"Aww frak it. I guess we lost."


"Well it would have been, could have been, worse than you would ever know."

Yeah.

p.s: Now here we go!

Kuar balik otaku-mode aku... arghhh!!!


Thursday, September 16

Seems like a good - suitable - series to watch on in this current state of mine. Heh.


I think all of this moronic nothing-interesting-anymore solution boils down to just a simple word - "You gotta have fun! OR make it fun! Build some sense of humor in you!" Tq friends for the advice and sometimes all of us really need is just a smack at the head and tells us straight in the face that we have to face reality. Hmm. Manusia mudah lupa. Kan?



But I still love this classic the most. =)



...and I'm struggling to finish this one book of mine...


Somehow I think I'm getting old too fast... O God. Help me bear this self-inflicted burden of mine. N please, don't let me go crazy for over-thinking too much...

p.s: Found a new term - chubster. Ohho. O_o (Gross.)

Berapa byk "mine" daaa post kali ni... -_______-
"The way to start writing isn't by writing at all. But by living. It isn't about creating something from thin air, but about documenting our personal feelings about the things that we see. Or to put it crudely, how are you going to be a storyteller if you have no story to tell? Perhaps, in the end, there are no such things as creative people; they are only sharp observers with sensitive hearts." - Yasmin Ahmad

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." - Apple's Think Different campaign.


Now, it seems that I really do need a nice motivation, a good enough cause and a noble justification to explain things that I've done at the past, present, and for the future - just to keep me sane and wise - and I really do hope it helps me find what is it that to me has been lost - or have been rob - away as now I think is the lowest point of my life. Never before have I been this "lost" before, or maybe I have to go through this phase of self-enlightenment as to explore what is it that I'm passionate for. Sitting duck and waiting things to happen have never be my cup of tea, so please to friends and family out there, bear with me and guide me as to not let me gone astray.

O God. This over-thinking habit of mine - the "Why?" syndrome has really taken its toll out of me. I have lost my touch - lost my enthusiastic and above all, I really did think all of the things I do in the present doesn't even matter anymore... 

Some things people told me that to them is "important" - but to me is "ridiculous".

Some things people are looking forward into to them is life-changing - but to me is its just normal.

Some of the things to some define "success" - but to me that definition is way beyond people to comprehend - to me success is not something that we can achieve - as to me success mean "perfect" but yet we know nothing can be "perfect". There will be up and down - the wheel of life will keep turning and we as common mortal just have to push forward - struggling in improving and make our life easier - innovation as to me is the only way forward.

I know now that life will become sooooo boring if its remain stagnant - with the mentality of just-follow-the-flock just can't sit right in me.

Yeah. Some action that justify out-of-the-flock seems to some a bit too risky, as we are putting a bet on life and people just can't accept it as "normal", yet supporting it as to them "Hang nak masuk longkang masuk sorg2, jgn ajak aku masuk skali. Kalo ok, hang gitau aku lepas tu..." if its not ok, "Tu la... aku dah gtau hang xmau dgr... padan muka."

...

Everybody a critic. Kan?

Sigh. Got to bear with it then.


p.s: But still, things to me that overrule religion is a big no-no.

Yada-yada...

...It may have been a little bit cliche but, here goes nothing... (about my raya obviously... -_-)

Well, the fun part of raya (to me) is the journey of balik kampung, with all the cars and people, accompanied with raya-songs played (in the radio) and the anticipation of a fat-ful feast that soon to follow...

The first part of my raya - to Endau-Rompin with my mother to celebrate raya with my uncle and his family and then toured around Johor visiting near and far of the branches of my family tree and thank God, theres been an exception this time cuz there are no more politic-thrash talk (replaced by a millionaires missing case and the conspiracy behind it) and with the joy now focused on the newest member of our family, raya to me seems good... (layan bebudak mengomel lagi bagus then layan org2 tua gosiping with each other... -_-)

The second part of my raya - to Penang - Alor Setar, with my father lak. Touring the country once in a while best gak kan? Heh.

The 1st phase - Johor Arc:

1. Bought some firecrackers at the nearest night-market in Rompin to spice up the night xD

The little devil. Heh.

Typical firecrackers fighting...

...added with the CFF-standard feast... O_O

Got some duit raya after the maaf2 tear-jerking ceremony yeah!! xD

2. 2nd day raya - picnic time with the family at Pantai Air Papan, Mersing.

Bowling time with the family.

Karaoke time!!

3. Raya-ing at Batu Pahat - Deer rendang tuuu... O_O

Al-fatihah to my late grandmother and my late auntie... 
(Dah la cari kubur pun jenuh cari... xingat no wahahahaha!!)

Then back to KL at the 3rd raya for my father's turn plak... O_O

The 2nd phase - Penang-Kedah Arc:

1. Well, its normal to find some accidents along the way right? O_o

2. Lepaking with some of the ex-Maresmawian at Char Koey Teow Tmn Desa Murni, Sg Dua, Penang.

3. Then, lepak sampai pagi lak with Safwan... syisha-ing and cam-whoring with his new baby - D300s!!! O_O ARGHH!!!

4. My Nani in blue with her sister-in-law (My grandmother) at Tg. Bendahara, Alor Setar... 

Pastu balik KL balik...

...

Huh.

p.s: Yes. I know I've made this post sound too boring... writers block in progress kot... Arghhh... T_T


Monday, September 6

Adeh...

Buffet Food Buffet Food... 99x O______O 
(I wonder... will I gain weight instead of losing it in this holy month? Sigh~)

Buffet @ KGPA with Maresmawian batch 4... ^_^


And the food?



Well, enough posting one pic only I think... For more go to this link.

Long-lost friends, but thanks to Facebook, there are no more Jejak Kasih kind of scenario again... -_-



Mat Jun and Alia baby... ^_^



Well, most of my friends did ask... "Hg bila lagi???"

...Ergh. Nk marah, tumbuk pun xboleh... T_T Sabar je la... (Touching Touching...)

Then after a fat-ful feast, me and Azharan, without a plan and none-raya mood (tak dtg lg mood nk bli baju raya ke apa... -_-) pergilah merantau mencari Indie coffeeshop la kononnya... and we manage to stumble upon this Dr. Cafe @ Solaris Dutamas... (but this is no indie, as we later on sedar... O_o)




Got a lot of brochure that explained about what coffee is, what should they mingled with and a dose of expresso+latte+cream to lighten up the night... Will blog about it someday... ^_^

Then, breaking fast plak with the mateys at Dataran Shah Alam...



Well, enough kot with my miserable life... How's yours? ^_^

p/s: Feel a bit feverish. Jgn dpt demam campak sudah... O_O
 
 
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